How to win at small talk

Cari Nazeer
Forge
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Aug 14, 2020
Photo: 10'000 Hours/Getty Images

🗣️ Today’s tip: Use the “reversal” technique to have a more interesting conversation.

This is a hard time for the art of the conversation. We’re yelling haltingly into Zooms or trying to project through masks, and none of it feels natural. But the basics haven’t changed: If you want to have an interesting conversation, you have to make the other person comfortable.

As Barry Davret writes, one way to do this is with a reversal, a step-and-pivot that gently puts the focus back on them: Something like, “Really? Tell me more,” or “That’s interesting. Then what happened?”

“Think of it as a game of tennis in which one player does just enough to keep the rally going,” Davret explains. Unlike a straight-up question, a reversal moves the conversation along without forcing it into directions your counterpart might resist, allowing them to retain a feeling of control.

✍️ We want to hear from you. Send us an email at forge@medium.com and tell us about the conversational tricks you use to get people talking. We may feature some of our favorite answers on Forge’s Instagram.

📚 More from Forge on better conversations:

3 Ways to Rescue a Conversation That’s Going Nowhere
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Conversation Starters That Have Nothing to Do With the Pandemic
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How To Talk To Someone Whose Opinions You Can’t Stand
Read more >>

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Published in Forge

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Cari Nazeer
Cari Nazeer

Written by Cari Nazeer

Former lead editor, Forge @ Medium

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