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3 Ways to Rescue a Conversation That’s Going Nowhere
Don’t ask, ‘So, how’s work?’
Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who’s just… bad at having a conversation? You try to keep things going by asking them question after question, but you eventually get tired of doing all the work. So you put on your best fake smile, give some excuse about having just received an urgent text, and flee.
For much of my life, I was that conversationally challenged person. Going to parties, networking events, and business gatherings terrified me. I’d survive the introductions, and then crumble under the weight of basic questions like: “What do you do for a living?”
Finally, one day, a mentor of mine noticed my struggle. When he asked what was going on, I explained that I was shy and didn’t like talking about myself. He told me that he was the same way. I didn’t believe him at first — I mean, nobody could guide a conversation like this guy. He made everyone he talked to feel energized and heard. What was his secret?
He taught me his tricks for rescuing a stalled conversation, and even turning it into a great one. To do so, you don’t need to be charismatic or funny or outgoing — in fact, you don’t need to say much at all. You simply need to listen and ask the right questions. Here’s how.
Keep your questions open-ended
Nothing will kill a conversation like a blanket inquiry, a question that lacks focus and elicits no useful information: How’s it going? How’s work these days? What’s new?
Questions like these put pressure on the other person to think of something interesting to say and offer them no starting point. That’s why you’ll usually get lazy, one-word answers like “fine,” “okay,” or “not much.”
To keep conversations going, use open-ended questions that encourage detailed answers. For instance, instead of asking “How was your lunch meeting?” try, “What happened at your lunch meeting?” You’ll gather enough details to build momentum and keep the conversation going.
Add constraints
The reason the person you’re talking to might get stuck on a question like “What’s new?” is because you’re giving…
