A technique to keep arguments under control

✅ Today’s tip: Keep disagreements productive by summarizing the other person’s point back to them.

One sentence that can stop a conflict from blowing up into something bigger: “So what I’m hearing is….”

On Human Parts, the executive coach Don Johnson explains the importance of reflective listening, a key part of approaching any conversation with humility and empathy. Getting there involves letting go of your ego a bit: Instead of assuming you know what the other person means, make sure you do.

“Summarize what you think you have heard and check to make sure you have it right,” Johnson writes. “If you don’t have it right, you can try again. You aren’t agreeing — you are just demonstrating you understand.” And once you understand, you can start to move forward.

📚 More from Forge on conflict resolution:

Stop Trying to Win the Argument
Read more >>

To Argue Productively, Meet in a Neutral Space
Read more >>

A Smarter Way to Fight With Your Partner
Read more >>

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