A small tweak to strengthen your relationships

💚 Today’s tip: To feel more connected to a friend, plan activities, not time slots.

A scattered text conversation that stretches throughout the day is attention, sure, but it’s halfhearted. Your mind is always at least partially on other things. To truly connect to the people in your life, Amy Brill argues, measure your time together in terms of what you do, not the number of minutes spent in each other’s orbit; quality, not quantity. A five-minute, fully focused phone call over an aimless text marathon.

“Attention is about logistics,” Brill writes, but “connection is about participation,” even if it’s for a brief window — taking one night a week to play a game as a family, stopping by a loved one’s house for a quick chat in the driveway. If paying attention is giving someone a bit of space in your crowded brain, then connection is kicking out everyone and everything else and inviting them to stretch out for as long as you have.

📚 More from Forge on cultivating closeness:

Give Your Friend the Gift of Boundaries
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The Way You’re Communicating Might Be Messing Up Your Relationships
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There’s No Such Thing as ‘Quality’ Time
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