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Give Your Friend the Gift of Boundaries
It’s not your job to fix their problems
When a friend is going through a hard time, you likely won’t be able to make the situation better.
It can be hard to accept, but you’ll both be better off if you do. Because then you can turn to what’s within your power: You might be helpless to change your friend’s situation, but you can help them survive. You can honor and validate their loss, bear witness to their experiences and pain, let them know that they are cared about and valued, and remind them that they are not alone. Even if you can’t make things better for your friend, you may be able to make them feel a little less bad.
Being equipped to show up for others means knowing the basic responses and etiquette that apply in most difficult situations. Regardless of what the person is going through, the following tips are a good place to start.
Showing up in hard times: The basics
Keep your focus on them
When listening to a friend in need, it’s crucial to actually listen. That means listening to hear, not listening to respond. It’s not that sharing your thoughts isn’t helpful; it’s just that it’s so easy to dominate the conversation without even realizing it. And what feels like being…
