A truly helpful question to ask today
❓ Today’s tip: Instead of asking, “How can I help?” ask, “What can I take off your plate?”
Sure, your offer to help a stressed-out colleague is well-intended. But when that offer is framed as an open-ended ask, Natasha Frost explains, it can feel like you’re adding to their burden rather than taking away.
“Whether your colleague is grappling with a personal problem or processing a shared trauma, remember that they’re probably emotionally taxed and stretched thin,” Frost writes. “Asking them to tell you how to help them is asking them for emotional labor: It requires them to act as your manager, and adds yet another thing to their to-do list.” As our sister publication ZORA notes, it’s an experience that’s all too familiar to Black people who have been bombarded over the past several weeks with “just checking in” messages from non-Black coworkers.
So instead of reaching out with a vague gesture of goodwill, be as specific as possible. Ask about something concrete that you can do, or better yet, offer some ideas of your own.
📚 More from Forge on going beyond good intentions:
If You Want to Help Others, You Must Learn to Say ‘No’
Read more >>
How Not to Look Away
Read more >>
47 Very Specific Answers to ‘What Can I Do to Help?’
Read more >>
Forward this email to a friend and improve their morning. ☀️ Subscribe to The Forge Daily Tip here.
You’re subscribed to receive emails from Forge. You can adjust your settings via the link at the bottom of this email.
