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Why ‘Find Your Purpose in Life’ Is Terrible Advice

Lessons from the Japanese concept of ‘ikigai’

Amardeep Parmar
Forge
4 min readJul 23, 2020

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Smiling woman enjoying glass of wine while watching sunset from backyard.
Photo: Thomas Barwick/Getty Images

Years ago, during my time in Japan, I went to a bar with an elderly dojo master after five hours of intense karate training. We were soon joined by a rival teacher, and the two men, who had trained together as kids, began sharing stories about their childhood. Eager to learn from the living legends, I asked if they always knew their paths would lead them to where they are now.

Both men erupted into laughter. Of course not, they explained — the idea of one “life path” had never occurred to them. It was a Western concept. I felt foolish.

I’ve been thinking about that moment a lot lately. While in lockdown, I’ve had chats with friends who’ve told me that they don’t want to go back to their “normal” lives once the pandemic is over — that they’ve realized during this time that they don’t feel like they have a purpose. Inevitably, these conversations take me back to my time at the bar with the dojo masters, and the moment when I learned about the Japanese concept of ikigai.

In the West, ikigai has been popularized as a way to find purpose. This Venn diagram is often used to explain the concept:

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Amardeep Parmar
Amardeep Parmar

Written by Amardeep Parmar

Founder of The BAE HQ @amardeepbae + Host of Entrepreneur's Handbook ☆ I help the ambitious develop deep self awareness ☆ https://antiburnout.mindfuldriven.com

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