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Why ‘Find Your Purpose in Life’ Is Terrible Advice
Lessons from the Japanese concept of ‘ikigai’
Years ago, during my time in Japan, I went to a bar with an elderly dojo master after five hours of intense karate training. We were soon joined by a rival teacher, and the two men, who had trained together as kids, began sharing stories about their childhood. Eager to learn from the living legends, I asked if they always knew their paths would lead them to where they are now.
Both men erupted into laughter. Of course not, they explained — the idea of one “life path” had never occurred to them. It was a Western concept. I felt foolish.
I’ve been thinking about that moment a lot lately. While in lockdown, I’ve had chats with friends who’ve told me that they don’t want to go back to their “normal” lives once the pandemic is over — that they’ve realized during this time that they don’t feel like they have a purpose. Inevitably, these conversations take me back to my time at the bar with the dojo masters, and the moment when I learned about the Japanese concept of ikigai.
In the West, ikigai has been popularized as a way to find purpose. This Venn diagram is often used to explain the concept:
You’re supposed to find something that:
- You love
- You are good at
- The world needs
- You can be paid for
But this explanation overcomplicates it. Put simply, ikigai is what brings you joy in your daily life. It’s not something you need to find, but rather something you already have. Knowing how to see it allows you to enjoy what you do rather than chase what you think you might enjoy.
In Japan, only 31% of people consider their job their ikigai. The others chose friends, family, hobbies, and even pets. It’s not about money — it’s what matters to you. One of the happiest people I met in Japan was a postman. It’s not necessarily a prestigious job, but he loved every moment of his day. He wandered around town delivering mail and stopping to chat with his friends and…
