Joint Accounts
When You’re the Overspender in the Relationship
How to rebuild your money habits from scratch
Welcome to Joint Accounts, a weekly advice column about money and relationships of all kinds. Have a question? Email jointaccounts@medium.com.
Dear Joint Accounts,
I tend to live in the moment when it comes to money. I used to live paycheck to paycheck, while using credit cards to shop all the time, to the point where I’d have 79 cents in the bank. I’ve been trying to take the advice of my fiance, who’s excellent at saving, and in the past year, I’ve been able to pay off my debts and build up some savings of my own.
But I can now feel myself starting to overdo it again. I love spending money on myself and my loved ones, and my fiance has suggested that I set aside $50 to $100 just for “fun” expenses, but I get frustrated and sometimes angry at these restrictions. I start to feel like I can’t afford anything, even though I do have some money, and that just triggers my urge to spend — it’s like just feeling poor makes me overcompensate. How do I get myself out of this cycle?
— Resentful Spender
Firstly, congratulations on paying off your debt and building up your savings! Let’s not overlook these financial wins…
