Joint Accounts
When Your Partner Keeps Their Money a Secret
How to talk about financial infidelity
Dear Joint Accounts,
My husband and I have been married for three years, and he’s against us having any joint accounts. He also doesn’t like talking about his finances with me and gets uncomfortable whenever I ask, but he asks about mine. He’s made comments in the past about living month-to-month, enough that I’ve gotten worried about his financial situation.
A few weeks ago, I took a look at his bank info online when he was still logged in, only to find out that he has plenty of money saved. I know he makes a good salary, but I’m bothered that he continues to lie to me about his finances. I have a good track record of being financially responsible, so I don’t understand why he feels the need to keep his money a secret. Should I confront him, or ask him flat-out how much he has saved to see if he lies? How should I handle this?
Sincerely,
Financially Betrayed
Yikes. This is a classic (and extreme!) case of financial infidelity, which is when one partner hides financial information or behavior from the other. “Infidelity” might seem like a strong word here, but really, that’s what it is: Keeping financial secrets is an abuse of…
