Joint Accounts

When Your Partner Can’t Stop Blowing Money

How to get on the same page about your finances without micromanaging

Kristin Wong
Forge
Published in
6 min readFeb 18, 2019

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Illustration: Laurie Rollitt

Welcome to Joint Accounts, a weekly advice column about money and relationships of all kinds. Have a question? Email jointaccounts@medium.com.

Dear Joint Accounts,

My partner and I are in a long term relationship and have kids. For the duration of our relationship, I’ve been more on top of our finances. My partner tends to spend willy-nilly without putting much thought into how it affects our bottom line. To keep those tendencies in check, I’ve historically managed our finances and spending very closely.

Six months ago, they asked me to trust them more with money and micromanage less. I agreed. I recently discovered the consequence of this: My partner has racked up some serious credit card debt. To me, this is a BIG F*CKING DEAL. They don’t seem as concerned, and brushed it off as “an expensive few months” that “we can pay down over time.” I’m frustrated and concerned. As it stands now, we need to dip into our savings to pay down this debt. Help! How can my partner and I get on the same page about money?

— Financially Frustrated

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Kristin Wong
Forge
Writer for

Kristin Wong has written for the New York Times, The Cut, Catapult, The Atlantic and ELLE.