Joint Accounts
When an Inheritance Becomes a Marital Power Struggle
How to handle financial disagreements that point to relationship red flags
Welcome to Joint Accounts, a weekly advice column about money and relationships of all kinds. Have a question? Email jointaccounts@medium.com.
Dear Joint Accounts,
My husband recently received a large inheritance and is planning on keeping the money in his name only. My issue with this is that a few years earlier, when I received an inheritance of nearly the same size, I put it into our joint account, where we used it for household expenses (we’ve since spent it down). Is it fair of me to expect him to do the same?
Sincerely,
Spouse feeling cheated
Maybe there are some other dynamics at play here, but the answer seems pretty straightforward: Of course it’s fair. If you shared your inheritance, why wouldn’t your husband do the same?
Couples don’t have to share everything, but if he’s unwilling to share his money and you shared yours, that might point to a power imbalance in your relationship. Maybe I’m not getting the full story. Maybe his retirement accounts are underfunded and yours are overflowing. Maybe he doesn’t earn much, and…
