Welcome to the Eternal Now

Uncertainty feels a whole lot like a scary time loop

Kelli María Korducki
Forge

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Photo: lisa kimberly/Moment/Getty Images

It seems that just about every self-help tenet emphasizes the pursuit of presence. “Value the moment,” say the Zen devotees. “Practice mindfulness,” our psychotherapists tell us from opposite the couch. “Play the role you find yourself in,” says Stoic philosophy, by way of Epictetus. Being fully engaged in the present, the wisdom goes, is the path to transcendence. Life is fuller and less clouded by worry when we stay focused on the now.

But in practice, when tremendous uncertainty makes planning for the future moot — and there’s nothing but the present to pay attention to — it feels less than transcendent.

When New Yorker writer Helen Rosner tweeted in mid-May that the weeks of social distancing had imparted a sense of “infinite presence,” the sentiment struck a viral chord. “No future plans, no anticipation of travel or shows or events or celebrations,” she wrote. “It’s an endless today, never tomorrow.” The feeling? Not great.

Despite the gradual “reopening” of U.S. states and cities around the world, the sense of a never-ending now isn’t exactly lifting. Much remains uncertain — everything, really, about the near-term shape of daily life: Will there be a second wave of infection? Will someone I love get sick, or will I? When can I…

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Kelli María Korducki
Forge
Writer for

Writer, editor. This is where I post about ideas, strategies, and the joys of making an NYC-viable living as a self-employed creative.