Joint Accounts

To Rent or Buy: When You and Your Partner Disagree

How to find compromise over very different financial goals

Kristin Wong
Forge
Published in
5 min readApr 1, 2019

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Illustration: Laurie Rollitt

Welcome to Joint Accounts, a weekly advice column about money and relationships of all kinds. Have a question? Email jointaccounts@medium.com.

Dear Joint Accounts,

My husband and I live in a city with a very high cost of living, where it’s unrealistic for most people to buy a home. But my goal is to be a homeowner someday, and I’m currently saving for that goal, even if it means we have to move to someplace more affordable. My husband doesn’t want to move, but he also doesn’t want to save for a home in our city, because he feels it’s pointless. We’re on the same page about almost everything else except for this issue. What do you do when your spouse doesn’t share your financial goal and therefore won’t prioritize it?

— Hopeful Homeowner

ItIt sounds like you and your husband are at a standstill. And I’m glad you asked this question, because for all the advice out there urging couples to have honest, in-depth conversations about their financial goals, there’s not much about what to do if those goals are completely different.

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Kristin Wong
Forge
Writer for

Kristin Wong has written for the New York Times, The Cut, Catapult, The Atlantic and ELLE.