Who We’ll Be After This

The Power of Listening After Asking ‘How Are You?’

What happened when I looked outside of my noisy head

Paul Ollinger
Forge
Published in
3 min readJun 18, 2020

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Photo illustration. Sources: Oliver Rossi/Getty Images, Westend61/Getty Images, Brigitte Sporrer/Getty Images

On a recent walk around the block, I saw my neighbor, Ted, coming the other way.

Ted and I are friendly, but don’t know each other that well. I threw out a “Hey buddy!” but didn’t break stride. While he’s usually good for a smile and a wave, all I got in return were raised eyebrows and a lukewarm head nod.

In my pre-quarantine days, I would have thought, “Well, Ted’s being a bit of a crab today,” and maintained my brisk 21-minute-per-mile pace. But these are not normal times, so I crossed the street and stopped six feet short.

“You hangin’ in there, man?” I asked.

“Yeah, it’s going okay,” he answered, not at all convincingly. Fortunately, I learned that Ted still has a job, and everyone in his house is healthy. But the stress of trying to work from home while juggling two young kids who can’t attend school or camp was obvious.

I didn’t ask any prying questions, so I still don’t know what was really on his mind. It could be that there are layoffs looming at work, perhaps he was worried about his aging parents, or maybe he had been arguing with his spouse. (If you haven’t had at…

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Paul Ollinger
Forge
Writer for

Comedian. Host of the Crazy Money podcast. Proud former Facebook and Yahoo! sales person/leader. http://PaulOllinger.com/podcast