The Only New Year’s Resolution Worth Making
A therapist’s advice on how to strengthen a relationship
Worrying about relationships is a common topic of conversation with my therapy clients at the end of any year, as people take stock of what’s working in their lives and what isn’t — but this year, those conversations feel especially urgent. Friend networks are crumbling without the cement of regular gatherings and adventures. Long Zoom calls with family have turned into terse check-ins about the weather and Covid stats. Spouses, now stuck inside together for months on end, are finding they retreat to opposite ends of the house at the end of a stressful day.
But how do you even begin to tackle that goal when you’re still stuck at home with all the same pandemic stressors? When the thought of having a phone conversation or sending a long email feels exhausting?
Often, we fail at reconnecting with important friends and family because our goals are too ambitious. People focus on getting the entire family on a video call or getting a large friend group together for an outing. When you spend all your energy herding people, you might find that you have little energy left to connect authentically. You also might find that group conversations are largely superficial and unsatisfying.
