If You’re Looking For New Friends, Start With Your Acquaintances

An easy plan for strengthening any friendship

Laura Vanderkam
Forge

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Illustration: Abbey Lossing

Loneliness was on the rise even before Covid-19. Now, with social events canceled and many people working from home, the situation is more dire — and might seem intractable. After all, how can you safely meet new people during a pandemic?

Like many people, I’ve been looking for more connection these days. After many months of no work travel and canceled social events, it’s easy to feel isolated. My first thought was that I needed to challenge myself to meet new people — difficult in the middle of a pandemic. But it turns out you don’t have to meet anyone new to feel more connected. “We’re not lonely for more interaction. We’re lonely for more meaningfulness,” says Shasta Nelson, author of the books The Business of Friendship and Friendships Don’t Just Happen!

Friendships are built through consistency, positivity, and vulnerability (that is, being emotionally open), Nelson says. The first quality enables the other two.

With those qualities in mind, you can transform a friendship — or even an acquaintance — into a much more meaningful relationship.

See who you see

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Laura Vanderkam
Forge
Writer for

Laura Vanderkam is the author of several time management books including Off the Clock and 168 Hours. She blogs at LauraVanderkam.com.