Joint Accounts

Should Your Boss Always Pay for Lunch?

The tricky etiquette of figuring out who foots the bill during work outings

Illustration: Laurie Rollitt

Welcome to Joint Accounts, a weekly advice column about money and relationships of all kinds. Have a question? Email jointaccounts@medium.com.

Dear Joint Accounts,

How do you deal with social situations with co-workers when one of you obviously makes more? Something like a one-on-one lunch with a supervisor, for example, can be strange: Obviously my supervisor makes more, but if they pick the place for lunch during the workday, should they pay? Should I pay? What about group meals or activities? Occasionally the place is out of my budget, but I don’t want to be the only one in the office who says no.

— Employee on a Budget

As with all matters of etiquette, there’s no etched-in-stone rule for who should pay for lunch in this scenario. Everyone has different ideas about the social norms of footing the bill in various situations.

That said, your boss should probably pay.

In my 15-plus years of working, if a boss wanted to meet with me to talk business, she always covered both of our orders. This was never something I asked for or confirmed ahead of time; it just seemed like common courtesy. If you ask someone out on a date, for example, it’s polite to pick up the tab. This circumstance seems similar.

If your colleagues prefer Ruth’s Chris and you’re on an Arby’s budget, it’s perfectly okay to decline a one-on-one or group outing.

But even if common courtesy dictates that a supervisor should pick up the tab for a business-oriented meal, it also dictates that you shouldn’t automatically expect this. So, if you’re worried about the bill, you could hold off on ordering until your boss clarifies who’s paying — or if this doesn’t happen, you can just treat it like a meeting that happens to be at a restaurant and not order at all (or just have something like a soda). In other words, don’t expect someone else to cover you because they outearn you. Be prepared to fork over for your share, and make a good…