Joint Accounts

‘Should I Feel Bad About Not Going Home for the Holidays?’

My family is making me feel guilty, but I have a budget to stick to

Kristin Wong
Forge
Published in
4 min readDec 2, 2019

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Illustration: Laurie Rollitt

Welcome to Joint Accounts, a weekly advice column about money and relationships of all kinds. Have a question? Email jointaccounts@medium.com.

Dear Joint Accounts,

My family wants me to come home for the holidays later this month, and while I can technically afford it, I’ve committed to limiting my spending for the rest of the year. Frankly, I want to save up for some other things, like a down payment on a car and some other travel I have planned for 2020.

But my family doesn’t seem to understand that I have a budget to stick to, and when I told them I wouldn’t be coming home, they acted really hurt. My mom, in particular, has been cold toward me ever since. They aren’t in a position to buy me a flight home, but they probably would if they could, so I feel guilty for not buying it myself. Should I just suck it up and go back home, or should I stick to my own priorities?

Sincerely,

Staying Put for the Holidays

TThere’s no reason to feel guilty about sticking to your budget. We all have to decide how much we spend and how much we save…

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Kristin Wong
Forge
Writer for

Kristin Wong has written for the New York Times, The Cut, Catapult, The Atlantic and ELLE.