Joint Accounts

Settling the Credit Versus Debit Debate

Ways to combine finances with a partner when you budget very differently

Illustration: Laurie Rollitt

Welcome to Joint Accounts, a weekly advice column about money and relationships of all kinds. Have a question? Email jointaccounts@medium.com.

Dear Joint Accounts,

I recently got engaged, and my fiancé and I plan to combine our finances, so we share a checking account. I currently do all my spending on my debit card, and I get a text every morning with my balance to keep me in check. My fiancé, on the other hand, spends his money with his credit card and pays it off at the end of each month and keeps tabs on his balance throughout the month.

Neither of us is a reckless spender; we just each have a specific way of monitoring ourselves. Given our two different spending styles — debit versus credit — what’s the best way for us to combine finances? Neither of us wants to give up our current system. But I worry that if we don’t spend the same way, I’ll inadvertently overspend and end up putting us in a financial hard spot.

Sincerely,
Team Debit

Merging lives with someone is an adjustment. When my husband and I first moved in together, we were so used to doing things independently that we would butt heads often, even over small things. I liked falling asleep to The Office reruns, but he would toss and turn and wake up exhausted. He squeezed the toothpaste tube right in the middle, which is an abomination to me. Eventually, you learn to tweak your habits and accommodate the other person in your life. And this is true for your financial habits, too.

Both of your systems have merit. Your daily balance check-in sounds responsible and smart, and your fiancé is probably racking up loads of cash-back or travel rewards with his credit cards. Rather than expecting each other to adapt to your own ways of dealing with money, why not come up with an entirely new system together? Here are some options.

Some couples keep one shared account for household expenses as well as their own individual bank accounts and contribute to both. If you keep separate accounts for your own spending (though you should still be transparent with each…