Joint Accounts
‘My Wife Won’t Stop Giving Her Daughter Money’
We can’t stop fighting about it. Should we just separate our finances?
Welcome to Joint Accounts, a weekly advice column about money and relationships of all kinds. Have a question? Email jointaccounts@medium.com.
Dear Joint Accounts,
My wife and I keep all our money in joint accounts. She’s generally pretty good with our finances, except when it comes to her adult daughter, whom she spoils grotesquely. Whenever my stepdaughter asks for money — which she does, often — my wife hands it over, to the point that I’m uncomfortable with it from a financial standpoint as well as a parenting one. But when I bring this up to my wife, she shuts it down with comments like, “You seem to have a lot of unresolved anger toward her.”
I’ve also discussed this issue with my therapist, who advised me to separate our accounts. But that seems drastic to me — like the first step toward a separation. Am I being overdramatic on this? Should I move my money so my stepdaughter’s requests are no longer my problem, or am I better off trying to get my wife to say “no” to her daughter?
Sincerely,
Reluctant to Separate
