Joint Accounts

‘My Partner’s Family Spends Too Much On Holiday Gifts’

How to navigate a gifting culture clash

Kristin Wong
Forge
Published in
3 min readDec 16, 2019

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Illustration: Laurie Rollitt

Dear Joint Accounts,

My fiancee and I both have children from previous marriages, and this is the first year we’re doing Christmas as a blended family, celebrating with her parents, siblings, and their kids.

The problem is we have very, very different traditions when it comes to gifts. My kids have grown up getting one gift each, while my fiancee’s family goes all-out: multiple presents, some expensive, plus stocking stuffers, even for the adults. Is there a way for me to gracefully navigate this culture clash without giving in to what I view as excess?

Sincerely,

Frugal Santa

SSounds like it’s time for some new holiday traditions! You and your fiancee are creating a new family, so this isn’t about picking one way of celebrating over another, but finding a new way to celebrate together. It’s best to approach the situation that way — not as a problem to be solved, but as a fun, new thing you’re doing as a family.

It’s totally fine that you’re frugal. But everyone’s spending habits and priorities are different. Some people love giving gifts and prefer to prioritize their spending that way…

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Kristin Wong
Forge
Writer for

Kristin Wong has written for the New York Times, The Cut, Catapult, The Atlantic and ELLE.