Joint Accounts
My Family Is Using Money to Control Me
How do I get out from under their thumb without causing any conflict?
Welcome to Joint Accounts, a weekly advice column about money and relationships of all kinds. Have a question? Email jointaccounts@medium.com.
Dear Joint Accounts,
In the past, I’ve accepted financial help from my sister and my parents when I was struggling with money, but it always came with strings attached. They treat these loans as tools of control and manipulation, using the money to express their disapproval of many of my life choices.
I’m working hard to get my finances to a place where I don’t need anyone’s help. But even my quest for financial independence has become a sore spot for my family. They get offended when I decline their help, and they say I’m trying to distance myself. How do I turn them down in a way that doesn’t cause conflict?
Sincerely,
Ready to Be Cut Loose
To be honest, this sounds like a somewhat privileged problem. If your goal is to be financially independent from your family, the first step is, quite simply, to stop accepting their money. Unless things are truly dire, there’s almost certainly a way for you to survive without your…
