It’s Time to Stop Anxiously Attacking Your Problems
A therapist explains how to stay calm and thoughtful about challenges.
When a person is struggling with their mental health, they usually feel like they aren’t doing enough. Often the opposite is true — they are trying so hard to solve their problems, that they leave no space for flexibility, creativity, or self-compassion.
This is how anxious reactions to a problem often cause more trouble than the actual problem.
When we direct our anxiety onto a problem, we end up stuck in the same rigid patterns of functioning. We vacillate between attacking the problem and avoiding it all together. We make it very difficult to be curious about what could actually make a difference. And curiosity is a powerful antidote to anxiety.
As a therapist, I help people shift from what I call anxious attention to thoughtful attention. To move from fight-or-flight reactivity to the uniquely human part of our brains that solves problems and set goals.
Anxious attention could look like:
- Focusing on “fixing” others.
- Calming others rather than calming self.
- Responding to the “what ifs” and not the real challenges.
- Abandoning your…
