How to Make the Threat Feel Real to Someone in Denial

You don’t need to send them 17 terrifying links every day

Jordan Gross
Forge
Published in
3 min readMar 19, 2020

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Video call with family during confinement of the Coronavirus in Spain. Photo: Artur Debat/Getty Images

II have a confession. This past weekend, I was the guy going to the gym, walking around New York City, shaking hands with new people I met, and slapping high fives with friends. I didn’t stock up on food, buy extra paper towels, or check on my supply of hand soap. I was telling everybody to keep calm, stop panicking, and wait for this whole coronavirus thing to blow over.

Sure, I’d read all the reports and recommendations and had been lectured by more responsible friends on the importance of self-distancing. Maybe I was in denial or couldn’t comprehend the severity of the pandemic or I was rebelling as a coping mechanism. I’m not entirely sure why I did what I did, but whatever the reason, one thing was certain: My actions were selfish and putting my community at risk.

The thing that finally flipped the switch in my brain was a conversation I had with a friend. She’d been trying to get through to me for days, rattling off statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, sending me news reports about what happened in China and Italy, and explaining why we need to flatten the curve. It all made sense to me on an intellectual level, yet her words did little to motivate me to change my ways. But…

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Jordan Gross
Forge
Writer for

Son, Grandson | Reimagining Personal Development | “What Happens in Tomorrow World?” Publishing Spring 2021, BenBella Books, Matt Holt Books