How to Like People More

Start by finding what there is to like

Michael Thompson
Forge

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Two friends taking pictures and messing about with accessories in a photo booth on a night out together.
Photo: Hinterhaus Productions/DigitalVision/Getty

TThere’s no shortage of advice out there for how to be more likable. Type the question into search and you can get lost in the pages upon pages of studies, lists, and essays full of tips on what to say and how to act. But according to behavioral researcher investigator Vanessa Van Edwards, the author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People, the key to being a person that others gravitate toward is simply this: You must like more people. Her advice? Every time you leave your house, set a reminder for yourself to try to like as many people as possible.

It might sound a little cheesy, but it’s an empowering thought. We think of relationships as being out of our control, to a certain extent. Either you click with someone or you don’t. But often, we don’t realize how much we get in our own way. We get hung up on the little things. We don’t realize we can try, or that we should.

If you put in a little effort, though, it’s not that hard to like people more — and to open yourself up to the possibility of connection, friendship, and love.

Steer the conversation toward their strengths

When meeting new people, a lot of us get preoccupied with what we’re going to say that we overlook the most effective way to…

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Michael Thompson
Forge

Co-creator of two cool kids • Storytelling Coach •.Fast Co., Insider, Forbes • Free storytelling guide here: https://bit.ly/3h1KZeT