How to Bail Without Being a Jerk
Instead of disappearing, here’s exactly what to say
Everyone is a flake in 2020.
You make outdoor dining plans, set deadlines on a work project, promise to proof a friend’s resume. But when the deadline arrives, so does the horrifying truth: It’s just not gonna happen.
It’s understandable. When life is rapidly changing, it’s normal to believe next week or next month might be a little less crazy. So we say “yes” too often, partly to pad our calendars, and partly because it feels good to be needed. We say yes because it’s attractive to be the “yes” person — the one who has it so together she never has to say no. But mostly we say yes because we’re seeking some kind of assurance that later will be better than now.
But sometimes it’s not, and you need to find the exit.
Every time you bail at the last minute, it feels like you’re admitting — to yourself and your flakee — that you’re not in control of your plans or your life. This feels terrible! Getting ahead of it allows you to keep your dignity intact and move on.
It also lets you regain control.
Owning up to our current twisted circumstances can actually bring us closer together. Saying, “I’m actually not okay” or “I can’t” isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s…
