Joint Accounts

How to Be an Ethical Sugar Daddy

When you want to do expensive things with your partner, but you’re the only one in the relationship who can afford them

Kristin Wong
Forge
Published in
4 min readJan 14, 2019

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Illustration: Laurie Rollitt

Welcome to Joint Accounts, a weekly advice column about money and relationships of all kinds. Have a question? Email jointaccounts@medium.com.

Dear Joint Accounts,

I’m a mid-30s gay man and I’ve finally arrived in my career to the point where I’m making decent money. I like taking lots of trips, eating good food, and drinking nice cocktails. I also want to share that with a boyfriend or lover. But often, when I’m dating younger guys, they’re less far along in their career and don’t make as much money. I’ve dabbled in the sugar-daddy dynamic a bit, paying for everything we did together, and honestly, I kind of liked it. Sometimes, I want to do fancy things with a guy and I don’t want his financial situation to stop us. But with the #MeToo movement and my awareness of how power and money influence a relationship, how do I be an ethical sugar daddy? And how do I create the right boundaries so I also don’t get taken advantage of? How do I have these conversations with a partner?

—Ethical Sugar Daddy

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Published in Forge

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Kristin Wong
Kristin Wong

Written by Kristin Wong

Kristin Wong has written for the New York Times, The Cut, Catapult, The Atlantic and ELLE.

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