Joint Accounts

How Do My Partner and I Merge Our Finances, While Keeping Our Autonomy?

We have become financially interdependent, but I’m uncomfortable telling my partner how to spend money

Illustration: Laurie Rollitt

Dear Joint Accounts,

My partner and I have been together for around six years, and we’ve always kept our finances totally separate. We split rent and household bills evenly, and I handle my own student loans, car payments, credit card bills, etc. But even without merging accounts, we’re now financially interdependent enough that I think we should be budgeting together. We always help each other out when one person is short on money, and we do the majority of our entertainment spending together.

Neither of us makes a lot. I want to start saving more and spending less on things like going out, but I’m uncomfortable telling my partner what to do financially. Even though I feel like we’re kidding ourselves at this point with our separate accounts, I’m at a loss for how to move forward. What’s a good way to merge our finances, while still allowing us each some autonomy?

Sincerely,

Ready to Merge

It’s a vexing question among couples in your situation: Should we keep our finances…