Joint Accounts
How Can I Talk About the Motherhood Tax With My Husband?
We’ve always kept our finances separate, but now that we have a baby, it feels like the cost is disproportionately falling on me
Welcome to Joint Accounts, a weekly advice column about money and relationships of all kinds. Have a question? Email jointaccounts@medium.com.
Dear Joint Accounts,
My husband and I have always kept our finances separate, and I’ve never had any complaints about it until a couple months ago, when I had a baby. I’m currently on maternity leave, and it’s radically changed the balance of things: I’m luckier than many women in that my leave isn’t fully unpaid, but I’m still bringing in a reduced income. My health insurance has gotten more expensive because I now have a dependent. My husband, meanwhile, is currently primed for a raise. I’m missing out on my company’s 401(k) match; my husband is taking advantage of his.
Even in an otherwise equal relationship, the cost of raising a kid seems to fall on women by default. To make matters more complicated, we also have different ideas about spending on certain baby expenses, like childcare. How do we make things more equal? How do we share these costs, including the cost of…
