Joint Accounts

Finding the Line Between Frugal and Cheap

How a big spender can find compromise with a super-thrifty partner

Kristin Wong
Forge
Published in
4 min readMay 6, 2019

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Illustration: Laurie Rollitt

Dear Joint Accounts,

I’ve always been a big spender — someone who enjoys a champagne lifestyle on a beer budget. At one point, I racked up thousands of dollars in debt, and it took me years to pay it off. But old habits die hard. I don’t earn much money, but I like to treat myself and others whenever I can.

On one hand, I know I could be better with money. But on the other, I never want to be as frugal as my partner, who’s an extreme saver. His attitude about money annoys me, and I don’t know if my annoyance is warranted. For example, he takes the night bus home or finds a cheaper but even longer route just to save a few bucks. He’s always looking for the cheapest option, whether it’s with groceries or clothes. He’s not a student — he owns two homes and earns a good salary. He says he’s being frugal, but I think he’s being cheap. As we share a life together, is it possible for us to meet somewhere in the middle?

— Spendthrift Dating a Cheapskate

SSomeone once told me that frugality turns into cheapness when it unnecessarily robs you of your time. I don’t want to judge anyone’s money-saving habits, but it sounds…

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Kristin Wong
Forge
Writer for

Kristin Wong has written for the New York Times, The Cut, Catapult, The Atlantic and ELLE.