Joint Accounts

Can I Ask My Partner to Help Fund My Retirement?

How to talk about sharing the burden for individual savings goals

Kristin Wong
Forge
Published in
3 min readJun 10, 2019

--

Illustration: Laurie Rollitt

Dear Joint Accounts,

My boyfriend works part-time and doesn’t make much money, by choice — he’s a computer scientist and electrical engineer by training, so he could be making much more if he wanted to. I work full-time and currently make about twice as much as he does. We plan on moving in together in the next few years, once all our kids are out of the house, and I think he should take on more work to make our salaries more equitable.

The conundrum: His retirement account is fully funded due to the many years he spent at stressful but high-paying jobs. Mine, on the other hand, is woefully under-funded. Is it fair to ask him to earn more now if he might end up supporting me later on?

Sincerely,

Begrudged Breadwinner

II understand your hesitation: On paper, it might not sound fair to ask someone to fund your own financial goals. But relationships are complicated, and so is money. Funding your retirement should be a savings priority, and depending on your relationship situation, yes, that might mean your boyfriend needs to work more. It’s important to make sure you’re financially…

--

--

Forge
Forge

Published in Forge

A former publication from Medium on personal development. Currently inactive and not taking submissions.

Kristin Wong
Kristin Wong

Written by Kristin Wong

Kristin Wong has written for the New York Times, The Cut, Catapult, The Atlantic and ELLE.