A way to get past awkward silences

Cari Nazeer
Forge
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1 min readJul 16, 2020
Photo: 10'000 Hours/Getty Images

Today’s tip: Count to seven before filling an awkward pause.

Uncomfortable silence isn’t always a bad thing. Especially in meetings or other group settings, as Kate Morgan writes, it can be a way of ensuring that everyone has a chance to be heard. The awkward pause is an invitation to people who might not feel comfortable jumping in or fighting for their chance to speak.

So if you’re someone who has no problem speaking up, train yourself to wait a few beats before jumping in to fill the silence. “If you’re talking more than you want to, just stop,” the linguist Deborah Tannen says. “Count to seven. Wait a longer time than feels comfortable and see if the other person starts talking.”

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