Let the Awkward Pause Be Awkward
Silence can be a valuable tool for changing who gets heard
Every time I fill the gap between two thoughts with a drawn-out, “Ummm,” I hear a phantom BANG in the back of my mind.
Turns out my old high-school teacher, Mrs. O’Keefe, knew what she was doing. Determined to rid her students of our dependence on hesitation markers — like “um,” “uh,” “like,” and “y’know” — she’d slam her hand down on the nearest desk every time she heard one.
Get comfortable with silence, she’d say. Use it to prepare. Or even better, as a way of letting someone else talk.
Today, managers are told to allow pauses in brainstorms and team meetings. It allows space for those who might be shy to speak up to get a word in and makes for more productive discussion. It’s a lesson that’s feeling especially resonant right now, as constant Zooms are forcing us to adjust to a rhythm of conversation that’s different from what we’re used to.
And as we look for new ways to change unjust systems and make space for marginalized voices, the pause is more valuable than ever. For people who struggle to be heard, a beat of silence can make all the difference.
But it’s probably going to be awkward. Different languages have varying rhythms, but research has shown that…
