You’re Not Staring at Yourself on Zoom, You’re Judging Yourself
How that little image of your face on video chat harms your self-image through ‘self-objectification’
I’ve never looked at myself as frequently as I do these days. Before the pandemic turned me into a remote worker, I’d see my own image a few times a day — while getting ready in the morning, in the bathroom mirror, or maybe in the occasional selfie. I’m a college professor, so my job has always involved an element of performance. But teaching on Zoom, I’m not just on stage: I’m also in the audience. Inside a rectangle alongside everyone else, I’ve found myself wondering daily: Is that what I really look like?
In my own case, and those of many whose work has moved online this year, there is a certain horror that comes from seeing one’s own expressions while speaking. My vision of my competent self simply doesn’t match up with my facial contortions on camera. It’s not just that I don’t recognize what I see — it’s that I don’t like it.
