You Know Your Triggers — Now, Find Your Glimmers
What lights you up is just as important as what upsets you
Recently, a friend posted a beautiful picture to Instagram: a quiet sunrise moment in her parents’ tree-filled backyard. “I’m trying to get better at finding glimmers throughout my day,” her caption read. I wasn’t quite sure what a glimmer was, but if my body’s sudden state of calm was any indication, I got the idea. Surveying the tiny, tree-lined square –– even on my iPhone –– felt like exhaling, the exact kind of beauty and calm I needed to reset after a stressful morning.
I clicked over to another post my friend had linked, and I learned my suspicion was on the right track. Whereas stressful situations trigger the nervous system to rev up, some scenarios have the opposite effect, inciting a sense of calm by establishing safety in the mind and body. Therapist Deb Dana calls these moments glimmers.
Here’s the idea: The body gets stressed-out and hyped-up when it senses a threat, and returning to homeostasis can sometimes take a bit of strategy. According to polyvagal theory, external cues of safety –– a friend’s kind eyes, cuddles from a puppy, comforting words from a partner –– activate the “social engagement system,” which acts like an off-switch to the sympathetic response.
