You Are Your Handwriting

Drew Magary tries to undo decades of bad penmanship by following four simple rules

Drew Magary
Forge

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Illustration: Laurie Rollitt

I am a writer who can’t write. If you ever saw my actual handwriting, the jig would be up. I’ve written books, and sometimes I inscribe them for people, and when I do, it looks like I’ve defaced my own work. One time, I made a mistake while signing a reader’s book and had to do that thing where you write a darker, thicker letter over the mistake letter to cover your tracks. My tracks were not covered. If anything, I made it worse.

I skip letters by accident. I reverse them on occasion. I can’t read notes I’ve jotted down and have to guess at what I was thinking back when I scribbled what appears to be “twanny ferl gumpdump” in my notebook right before bedtime. My children, ages eight to 14, ALL have nicer handwriting than mine. My penmanship is an embarrassment. Have a look for yourself:

I can’t tell you why my handwriting is so bad. It could be because I was too lazy to ever learn how to do it properly. It could be because I skipped third grade in elementary school, which sounds like a brag until you see the aftereffects of me skipping past formal…

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