Why This Part Still Feels So Difficult

Amy Shearn
Forge
Published in
3 min readJan 20, 2021

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A shot of a person’s legs as they run down the street.
Photo: VladGans / Getty Images

If you’re anything like me and, well, everyone I know, you’re probably entering the “unhinged” stage of pandemic life. I almost cried the other day remembering the once-mundane experience of sitting in a crowded restaurant on a Friday night, crackling with freshly minted weekend energy. Huh? I stared, stunned, at the page of the Sunday New York Times that summarizes how many people have gotten sick, recovered, and/or died of Covid-19, the numbers smacking me in the eyeballs with new vigor. Why is this all hitting me so hard now, as the vaccine starts to roll out, a president with an actual plan takes office, and the end, it seems, is in sight?

Susan Orlean puts it into perspective in her Medium post about, of all things, running the New York City Marathon. She notes that despite her expectations that the last couple miles would be an excitement-fueled breeze, the end of the race was actually the hardest part. “Of course, I was tired by then, but this odd phenomenon of losing steam just when I thought I’d be recharged was more mental than physical,” Orlean writes:

I feel like I’m on Mile 24 of the pandemic. In the beginning, the newness and strangeness of it was almost exciting — yes, terrifying, yes, horrible in every way, but it was so dramatic and urgent that it was energizing.

Now we have several approved vaccines and an…

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Published in Forge

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Amy Shearn
Amy Shearn

Written by Amy Shearn

Formerly: Editor of Creators Hub, Human Parts // Ongoingly: Novelist, Essayist, Person