Why Shamelessness Is a Virtue
Very few of us have it. These two mental tricks can help.
In the Netflix special Homecoming King, comedian Hasan Minhaj recalls a story about the day he decided to ask his then-girlfriend to marry him. His father had reservations about Hasan, a Muslim man, marrying the love of his life, a Hindu woman. At one point, Hasan’s father stops him and asks, “Log kya kahenge,” which translates to “What will people think?”
This is a question that has stifled the happiness of people since, well, the day they encountered other people. It has changed the course of decisions, both big and small. Think about it. How many times have you decided not to approach someone who looked interesting at a party, or start a difficult conversation with a co-worker, or hum along to your favorite song as it was playing at the grocery store, all because of how you thought you might be judged?
It’s admittedly scary to rock the boat. We are hardwired for belonging. In 2010, researchers from the University of London discovered that the “reward” area of our brain is actually activated when people agree with us. There’s evidence that the pain of being rejected is not so different from the pain of a physical injury.
And it’s fine to hope others have a positive perception of us. What person wouldn’t prefer to be…
