Why I Charge People to Get Coffee With Me

When you ask to pick someone’s brain, you’re basically asking for free consulting services

Anna Codrea-Rado
Forge

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A man and a woman sitting at a coffee table. The woman is listening as the man is conversing over coffee.
Photo: Stuart Freedman/In Pictures/Getty

RRecently, a startup founder cold-emailed me with a request: Would I mind taking a look at a beta version of his product, and then take a call to share my thoughts? I was an expert in his sector, he explained, and he’d love to use my insight to help him shape the direction of his business.

In other words, he was asking for a piece of consultancy work minus my day rate.

Pick-your-brain requests like these, from strangers or tenuous connections at the periphery of my network, are among the more curious asks that slide into my inbox. Pretty much without fail, I’ve ended these calls or left these in-person coffee meetings feeling taken advantage of — like I’ve just given away a service I should have charged for.

I replied to that email from the startup founder explaining that I could do what he asked, but I’d need to be paid for it. As a freelancer, I explained, it simply wasn’t viable for me to help pro bono, but if he wanted to hire me as a consultant, I’d welcome the discussion. He said he’d get back to me with a budget.

Six months later, I’m still waiting. In the meantime, I’ve become an outspoken proponent for the…

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