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The Awkward Art of Accepting a Compliment
A three-step strategy for people who cringe at the sound of praise
“You’re a really good writer.” My writing needs work.
“You’re an awesome friend.” No, you’re the great friend.
“Wow, I love your taste in music.” This is my dad’s playlist.
It’s a trap plenty of people, myself included, are guilty of falling into: Whenever a person compliments me, I deny or deflect. Friends sometimes point out this out to me and I always want to tell them I know. I hate that I do it, too. But without fail, my inner monologue goes one of two ways.
“You don’t know the whole story.” You tell me my essay is great, but you didn’t see me write five different versions of that opening sentence (and I’m still wondering if I should have stuck with version three). You liked my presentation, but you don’t realize that I lost my place halfway through and rambled off script for two minutes straight. You think I’m strong, but you haven’t seen me when I’m in an anxiety spiral at 2 a.m. If you knew all the work I have to do just to get by, you definitely would not be impressed.
“Crap, now there’s nowhere to go but down.” Great, I’ve successfully tricked you into thinking I’m worthy. Now I just have to wait for you to find out I’m a…
