Why Celebrity Deaths Feel So Personal
A one-sided relationship can inspire the same grief as losing a loved one
I can tell you what episode of Friends I was watching when I learned that my mother had died. But I can also tell you that I was floating in my grandmother’s swimming pool when I heard about Princess Diana. And I know that I was waiting for a table at a California Pizza Kitchen when the news of Michael Jackson’s death broke.
I was at book club on Sunday when I heard about Kobe Bryant. I’ve never even watched an NBA game, but if you ask me 10 years from now where I was when I learned about the helicopter crash that killed him and eight others, I’m sure I’ll remember.
It might seem strange to hold the death of a parent in the same mental space as the death of a faraway athlete or pop star or princess. But anyone who’s ever been shocked and upset by the loss of someone famous knows that it doesn’t feel far away at all. Fandom can trick our brains into trusting celebrities the way we trust friends or family. Especially now that the internet and social media offer us intimate access to celebrities’ daily lives, the connections we form with them can feel utterly real.
So when death severs this connection, it feels like we’ve lost a loved one. And in a way, we have.
