When You Can’t Relieve Stress, Add Resources
A simple rule to help you overcome burnout
The other day, a close friend and I were texting about something hard happening in her life. I asked how she had been doing lately, and she gave it to me straight: “I feel like I’m doing everything I can to stay sane, but no matter what I do, it doesn’t balance the scales.” Enter distressed emoji.
My friend’s insightful (and extremely relatable) observation reminded me the Belgian researchers Isabella Roskam and Moïra Mikolajczak, who study parental burnout and effects. While burnout can feel a lot like stress and even anxiety and depression, it’s not just about the presence of tough circumstances. Burnout, they say, usually occurs when people have more stressors than resources––essentially, when your personal “scale” is off balance.
Of course, the imbalance problem isn’t only individual. Certain populations are more prone to burnout and its effects due to systemic factors. For example, single parents, BIPOC folks, and differently abled individuals often experience more stress alongside fewer resources, which could heighten the risk for burnout and its effects.
One way to overcome burnout in any role — whether it’s your job or your identity as a caretaker, romantic partner, or parent — is to tip the scales in the general…
