When ‘Guess’ Parents Have ‘Ask’ Children

How the Ask versus Guess divide explains the complicated reality of growing up Asian American

Jeff Yang
Forge
Published in
7 min readAug 28, 2020

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A parent helps a child tie their shoelaces.
Photo: Images By Tang Ming Tung/Getty Images

“Uncle, can I take your plate to the kitchen?” That’s what my cousin asked my father after a grand dinner to welcome her family to our home upon their arrival from Taiwan. So polite, my mom said. Such good manners, my dad added.

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