What to Do When Your Habits No Longer Serve You
There’s danger in not updating your life systems
John Dryden, the 17th-century English poet, once said, “We first make our habits, then our habits make us.”
The statement is a powerful one. Once an action becomes a habit — whether it’s writing in your journal each morning, taking a walk at the same time every afternoon, or reading a book before bed — the habit starts working for you. It’s something you know to do almost instinctively.
But Dryden’s quote also warns us about the potential danger of habits. This mental ease can have a downside: When our habits “make” us, it means our habits are in control. The only thing that’s certain in life is change. Circumstances change. Relationships change. We change. That means it’s quite possible that the habits you once built into your life will, at some point, no longer serve you.
I try to regularly check in with myself about whether my habits are bringing me closer to my current goals or halting my growth. Here are a few examples of what that looks like, and what it means to adjust the systems you build into your life.
A few years ago, I started a daily running habit. After a few months, I found myself in a good routine: Running was getting mentally and physically easier, and I noticed I had more energy throughout the day. But about a year in, I started getting injuries in my ankles and knees — nothing major, but enough for me to constantly wonder if I was damaging my body more. My running habit started to interfere with my daily life, so I decided to make a change. Now, I do regular full-body workouts with weights and only run once a week. And on the days when I don’t do full workouts, I go for a walk or bike ride. My body feels stronger, and my mind is clearer.
I also revisited my writing habit. When I first started writing, my goal was to one day get a book deal from a major publisher, mostly because I assumed that was what I was supposed to work toward — that a book would be how I’d know I’d made it. And so I built habits to get me there. I regularly talked to people in the publishing world and pushed myself to write pages and pages each day. While I was doing this, I kept writing short, practical articles on the side. Soon, though, I noticed a shift: Readers kept telling me that they found value in these shorter pieces, and it turned out that this was the type of content I enjoyed writing most. In the past year and a half, I’ve changed my goals and my writing habits.
Try this in your own life: Look at the habits you’ve developed. Compare them to your goals, your values, and what you enjoy. Which of those habits are no longer serving you? Get rid of them, and replace them with new ones that will help you get where you want to go. Even the best routines and systems are useless if they aren’t strengthening the latest version of you.
