Member-only story
What to Do If Your Ultimatum Isn’t Met
Salvaging a negotiation when your request has backfired
Years ago, out of the blue, I got an email with great news: An online magazine wanted to hire me to write for them. I was a relatively new writer at the time, and this felt like a windfall — the work seemed fun, and I was looking for ways to build up my portfolio.
There was just one issue: I had no idea what my rate should be. “Aim high,” a friend advised. “Don’t undervalue yourself.” I took her advice, threw out a number, hit send, and waited. After all, I thought the worst they could do was say no.
As it turned out, the worst they could do was ghost me. I never heard back. Maybe it had nothing to do with my rate, but I couldn’t shake the suspicion that the amount of money I’d asked for had scared them away.
For all the feel-good empowerment advice encouraging workers, especially women, to push the boundaries of their earning potential, we don’t talk as much about whether it’s possible to push too hard. My friend’s advice wasn’t bad, but I actually had no idea whether I was undervaluing myself. I didn’t know what my value was in the first place — I had no frame of reference. I was blindly aiming high when I should have been aiming strategically.
