Why I Stopped Being a ‘Nice Guy’

Men have to dig deep to uncover the sources of our hidden misogyny

Sean Hotchkiss
Forge

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Illustration: Filip Fröhlich

I spent most of my twenties in New York chasing women. With my shy, sensitive demeanor, they thought I was safe: a “nice guy.” “Boyfriend material.” But I see now that I was less interested in a relationship than the validation of a woman’s desire. Once I had it, I lost interest. I’d run off…

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Sean Hotchkiss
Forge

Los Angeles-based men’s coach. Writing about modern masculinity. Read my essays here and in GQ, Esquire and Men’s Health. www.seanhotchkiss.com