Published in


Why I Stopped Being a ‘Nice Guy’

Men have to dig deep to uncover the sources of our hidden misogyny

I spent most of my twenties in New York chasing women. With my shy, sensitive demeanor, they thought I was safe: a “nice guy.” “Boyfriend material.” But I see now that I was less interested in a relationship than the validation of a woman’s desire. Once I had it, I lost interest. I’d run off…



A publication from Medium on personal development.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Sean Hotchkiss

Los Angeles-based men’s coach. Writing about modern masculinity. Read my essays here and in GQ, Esquire and Men’s Health.