Published in


Why I Stopped Being a ‘Nice Guy’

Men have to dig deep to uncover the sources of our hidden misogyny

Illustration: Filip Fröhlich

I spent most of my twenties in New York chasing women. With my shy, sensitive demeanor, they thought I was safe: a “nice guy.” “Boyfriend material.” But I see now that I was less interested in a relationship than the validation of a woman’s desire. Once I had it, I lost interest. I’d run off…




A publication from Medium on personal development.

Recommended from Medium

How brain think? and whole preocesses that take place in it:


How To Build Self-Confidence Through Daily Practice

Life Lesson That Will Save You From Unnecessary Guilt

Why the COVID-19 Pandemic Terrifies (and Liberates) Us

Dealing With Business Failure!

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Sean Hotchkiss

Sean Hotchkiss

Los Angeles-based men’s coach. Writing about modern masculinity. Read my essays here and in GQ, Esquire and Men’s Health.

More from Medium

Honor Your Anger Surrounding Your Divorce

Raising Baby Scorpio

Depp Vs Heard trial: Its horrifying effect on domestic violence

The night my world came crashing down