What a Breakup Therapist Can Teach You About Staying Together
“Discernment counseling” is not couples’ therapy
Last summer, Esther was facing down a perfect storm of marital stresses: In addition to a recent death in the family, a move, and the grind of daily life with small children, she was struggling with her husband’s addiction issues. All this on top of the overall sense of disconnection that had long been plaguing them, she says: “It was more than five years of feeling hopeless about our future.”
Esther (who requested that her last name be withheld for privacy) had finally reached her breaking point. Couples therapy seemed like a waste of time and money — it might drag on for months or years, and she balked at the idea of staying together for that long. Esther was desperate to escape the unhappiness of her marriage. But her husband was equally desperate to salvage family life for their two kids.
Stuck at a crossroads, the two of them turned to discernment counseling, a relatively niche and short-term type of therapy that helps couples decide whether to try to make it work.
Discernment counseling is not couples counseling. It doesn’t aim to fix any problems. Instead, in just a handful of sessions (both joint and individual), it helps couples on the verge of relationship breakdown…
