The True Antidote to Jealousy

A rubric for envy-free living

Faith Salie
Forge

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“Grass is greener” theme. Man mows lane while looking over fence at lounging neighbor.
Photo: Hill Street Studios/Getty Images

The irony of social distancing is that never before have we been so laser-focused on each others’ homes and lives. The distance you get via Zooms and FaceTimes and sitting six feet away from people during a backyard hang that seems perfectly styled for Instagram affords you what appears to be a clear perspective to just… watch…and maybe covet. Every time I peeked at my kid’s kindergarten Google Meet last spring I marveled not only at how the backgrounds of her classmates’ “country houses” featured astonishing built-in bookshelves but also how other parents evidently managed to braid and style their children’s hair in a pandemic.

Braid and style!

The intensity of the pandemic gaze can’t help but produce feelings of envy, of not having enough, of not doing the pandemic the “right” way. Envying someone else’s pandemic implicitly requires us to make up stories about others’ lives. We decide that whatever they have that we want brings them nothing but happiness. But you can counteract these feelings. The key is to look even harder. The key is to look at their whole story.

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Faith Salie
Forge
Writer for

Emmy-winning contributor to CBS News Sunday Morning, panelist on NPR’s Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me!, and author of Approval Junkie. And, wife, mother, daughter