This One-Second Habit Is the Key to Emotional Intelligence

Magic happens when you let yourself pause

Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler, Ph.D.
Forge

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A man closes his eyes and massages his temples to relieve stress in front of his laptop.
Photo: Westend61/Getty Images

OOver the past two decades, I’ve advised Fortune 500 companies and high-growth teams, worked with Middle East leaders and conducted U.S. government-funded research on terrorism — all in the name of helping people find better ways of working together. Along the way, I’ve realized that emotional awareness can make the difference between ongoing conflict and constructive action.

It’s a skill that comes in especially handy right now, as we’re all facing new challenges and disruptions to our daily lives. It’s a tense, anxious time, and the high emotional temperature of the moment makes it easier than usual to get stuck in a tug-of-war of unnecessary conflict.

Luckily, emotional awareness can be learned and improved. Here’s where to begin:

Practice pausing

In times of stress or decision fatigue, a short pause can go a long way. It’s as straightforward as it sounds: Instead of reacting to other people when you’re feeling on edge, take a quick break to reset.

One of my closest friends and colleagues, Wendy, is great at doing this. Every once in a while, when it’s clear she’s feeling tense about whatever question or decision we might be discussing —…

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Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler, Ph.D.
Forge
Writer for

Dr. Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler is a leading expert on conflict and organizational psychology. You can learn more about her work at jengoldmanwetzler.com