There Are Better Ways to Start a Conversation Than ‘So What Do You Do?’
People are much more than how they earn a paycheck
One of my favorite icebreakers is to ask a stranger to tell me the worst thing they’ve ever done. Most of the time my conversation partner is taken aback, stumped, or left profoundly uncomfortable as they mine the archives of their life searching for a suitable answer. It’s not so much that I’m dying to know everyone’s worst sins but it’s a shocking enough conversation starter that very quickly morphs into meaningful discussion. Discussion that doesn’t involve what we do for work.
Without fail, nearly every time I meet a new person, the question, “So what do you do for a living?” is broached. A perfectly adequate inquiry, the conversation starter is easy enough to answer and comes loaded with context and perhaps complaints; there are plenty of opportunities for follow-up questions, too.
But to tie our first impressions to our paychecks is limiting. People tend to make assumptions about us based on what we do for work, and may only associate us with our jobs — even when we have enriching lives and hobbies outside of the office. As the New York Times’ Lindsay Crouse posited on Twitter last month, “We need more ways to explain ‘who we are’ without saying what we do for work.”
